War? Maybe not but this is a battle!

  This past week I felt like I was tripped and kicked while I was down. My dad has been sick for the last 3 months. He was having pain in his hips and stomach. He went from doctor to doctor in urgent care, the emergency room and then his regular doctor. Finally after several blood tests, we got some kind of answer. His doctor said that he has an autoimmune disease, but didn't say which one. Then she spotted something on his arm or something and said that it could be cancer, but said don't worry about it right now. We still don't have an answer and he's been off work for 2 months going on 3 and is wasting away. He's lost like 20lbs and is so weak and tired all the time. I hope that the doctor gives us an answers soon and there is a treatment that will help him get back to normal and allow him to do some work.

  Next my great grandma was brought into the hospital because she wasn't feeling well and her feet were swollen. The doctors said that she had a blood clot in her leg and that her heart was in tachycardia. After a week in the hospital and several in a home she went back to the hospital because she was close to the end. She had pneumonia and at 95 that was the last straw. She became so sickly and uncomfortable that when she was finally asked if she wanted to be kept alive or be comfortable she said comfortable. So that night she was given morphine and began to go into the "morphine coma". Within 2 days she was gone. Since it was an ongoing affair I knew it was coming and was prepared for it. What I wasn't prepared for was the stress of the coming week.

  Which brings me to the final slap in the face. My sister in an attempt to get to the hospital to see my great grandma, passed out in the shower and broke her leg. As I had described in a previous blog, she has RSD, which in itself is painful and constantly causing problems. This injury is what my family had hoped would never happen, because as much as a broken bone would hurt, a broken leg in a leg that already was so painful because of the disease would be intolerable.

  With my father sick, and my mother not as strong as me, I have to be around to be able to lift her up and help her around the house. In the beginning she wasn't able to walk or stand up alone. Her room is upstairs so she was unable to get to her room, so she's been sleeping in my room downstairs and I have been sleeping on the couch/air mattress in the living room so I am close and available if she needs my help. My dad had been so weak and tired that he hadn't been getting out of bed so I was making lunches and taking care of him too when my mom was out of the house working. This past week she was busy helping my grandma set up all the funeral planning and packing up my great grandma's house. I've been taking on double duty, between cooking, cleaning, and being nurse. My mom and I also have been taking care of the lawn, which in my case mowing with a 20 year old lawn mower is like a punishment for prisoners. Just starting it is a long grueling process, then to push it around the yard when its 90 degrees outside.

  The past couple of weeks have been hell. I hope that soon things will die down and go back to normal. For now I will trudge on through and keep working on making it to the next day.

Sister

My sister is a testament to perseverance. She was diagnosed with RSD, a neurological disorder that causes the constant feeling of pain, when she was 16. She had dropped a marble table on her foot and without breaking any bones or any ligament damage, it was still swelling and bruised and hurt as if every bone in her foot was crushed. It took about 6 months and several doctors to get diagnosed. She has gone through 3 procedures to try to fix it and has had a neurostimulator inplanted into her back to help. She has been a true soldier through it all. Even though she was in her junior year in High School and missed most of the spring semester, she graduated an A student and was accepted to several colleges. She really wanted to go to UCI or USD but because of her condition she was unable to go that far from home. It broke my heart to see her have to give that up but she is still positive and is attending the University of Redlands.

Just this past week she was taking a shower and passed out. When she fell she must have twisted her leg or something because she broke her fibula right above her ankle. The poor kid is in so much pain on top of what she already had from her condition. She was taken to the hospital, but the doctors and nurses really have no idea what RSD is to be able to treat her properly. They just told her to take the meds she already was taking and sent her home riving in pain. Now its our job to call around to all her doctors that understand her condition to see what they can do to help and to top it off, they didn't put a cast on her leg. it is a soft splint with an ace bandage which does not give the support she needs or the protection. We had to call another doctor to make an appointment to get a cast put on. However this doctor can't see her until Wednesday of next week, which is 5 days from when she broke her leg. She's supposed to somehow deal with having little support on her leg and be able to at least do what she needs around the house.

I wish doctors would 1. talk with each other or make the patients medical history available to give a summary of any existing conditions or 2. listen to the patient or family members, sometimes they know what they are talking about. They are just trying to help the doctor understand the situation, there may be more to what is being shown.  

Star Wars

So today I was watching Star Wars on TV and my mom just said that she doesn't like Star Wars. I had always thought that she loved Star Wars, now I find out that she can't stand watching it. She said it gives her a headache. Its like I don't know her anymore...ok so I do know her but this really surprised me. How do you not like Star Wars? Harrison Ford's breakout career move, a classic series that started the jump to 3+ movie series.

I'll admit I was one of those people that watched Star Trek too, but come on its futuristic drama, romance and action. Its like it hits every genre in movies. When I first saw Star Wars I wasn't into it. I was about 10 years old and it scared me. Plus I thought it was really long and boring, but now I love watching it. Its one of those movies that will always be a great movie to watch. I don't think I've watched Star Wars in years, so its all the more interesting again. Even my sister who is not in the least bit interested in very many sci-fi, killing, death action movies and she likes Star Wars.
I'd also have to admit that I had a crush on Luke Skywalker when I was little. I thought he was awesome and then Han Solo was cute and I loved the romance between Han and Leia, because of course I'm a sucker for a good romance. And who wouldn't love Yoda? A little green, pointy eared creature that talks funny. Its like he was something out of the Labyrinth with the swamp and antics.

I heard the other day that they may be coming out with several more episodes of Star Wars, but it may just be a rumor.....idk we shall see.

Movies, books

Movies...where to start? I love movies. Watching, quoting, rewatching and gushing over whose in it and what it was about. My sister and I could spend the whole day quoting from movies and the whole night watching them. I don't know why people think watching movies all day would be boring. Watching movies all day is like being engulfed in another world. Its relaxing and each movies brings out a different emotion. Some movies can bring you to a whole different world. 

Although books are another type of gateway into a world of imagination. Its great to see actors and actresses become these different characters. I love to read and let my mind go wild too, don't get me wrong, but it can go both ways. By reading books I can picture a movie in my head and by watching movies I want to read the books (if its based on a book) to see what was left out and to see what I would come up with if I watched it. 

I used to read a lot more but because of school I didn't have a whole lot of time, too busy reading the required reading. Finally in college I found I had more time on my hands, so I actually picked up the Twilight series and started reading it. My sister had read it and was pushing it on me so I finally gave in. I got sooo into it. I read the first book in a day and went out the next day to buy the second book. I was done with it in a week and still kind of hooked on it. We went on vacation within the next month and I was going to bring a new book but I just couldn't start another book. I was still hooked on Twilight so I went to the store in the airport and bought the first one to read while on vacation. 

I know, how did this become all about Twilight? Well when it comes to movies and books, my mind goes straight to it. I watched Twilight like a month after it was released into theaters and my first thought was "What the hell kind of movie is this and why does everyone like it?" I thought it was the strangest thing I ever saw. My sister and I could tell that there was stuff missing and with everyone talking about the series, we decided to see what it was about. Needless to say, we both got hooked. 

I could easily talk about the Twilight series more but I think its enough for now. I'm sure there is more to come. 

Pets

Today my dog, Roxy, actually caught a gopher. She had helped us catch several gophers before by pointing us in the right place for us to set traps, but today she actually came in with a headless gopher. I'm guessing she ate the gopher head, which is both gross and....no just gross. This last one we had tried quite a few times to try and catch it. There were several holes and tunnels everywhere. I was starting to think that she lost her touch in pointing out the right hole but it seems as though she just wanted the gopher for herself.

My last dog, Cookie, spent her entire life sitting in the backyard staring at a gopher hole trying to catch a freakin gopher. She finally did catch one once. It took her 10 years. I've had Roxy for a little over a year now and she's helped us catch about 3 and she's caught one herself. She's a machine!

Vacation

You know how it is when you feel like you've gone way too long with out a break or vacation? Well I'm there! I'm in desperate need for a vaca. I feel like I've been in a rut of constant going and going, like all I've done is work and sleep. This coming week my mom is going to San Diego for several days. I would go with her, but I have class on Tuesday and really can't miss. I really want to get away for a couple days, but when an opportunity arises I can't go.

I'm debating on missing this one class just so I can go. I would have to have a good reason to miss class. I'll probably have another chance to go away that doesn't conflict with my schedule but this chance seems really good. I don't know, maybe I should just wait it out. We'll see how it goes.


.......So I decided to go and it has been so awesome! Its so nice to be able to get away from the house and know that there is no chores or work that needs to be done by any certain time. I can just sit in the pool, or spend the entire day shopping if I wanted to and there is nothing wrong with that. I'm a little sad that its coming to an end and tomorrow we're heading back home to reality. I'll have to type a paper and have some work to do then but for now I'll just sit back and enjoy the rest of freedom.

Take 1

I'm not exactly sure what  a blog should have in it or what I would write about but I've always wanted to try so here it goes....
I've newly graduated from college and already going to dive back into school to become a teacher and always be in school. I would have never seen myself as a teacher, but since I really could never choose an occupation, seeing myself in any one would be difficult. Last year I started coaching girls basketball. Basketball had been my life since 3rd grade. I played in every league, then in high school and one year in college. I always knew that it had to end at some point, but tried to put it off as much as possible. When it came down to figuring out what I should do as an occupation as took what I knew and applied it (using some contacts I knew). 
Right from the start, I loved coaching. I was teaching others the skills I know and watching them learn it and put it into action. When I sat down and thought about it, I had been coaching for years. Even while I was playing, I would teach and show teammates what I knew. Its rewarding to see people use something that I've taught them and see the joy on their face. One thing I love the most is to make someone smile, whether that be from doing something right or opening a present that they always wanted. This is where teaching comes in. Its just another place where I can teach people new things and watch the look on their face when they get it. 
Well I guess I've blabbed on long enough about nothing of any consequence. Maybe next time I'll come up with something better to blog about or maybe write about my time getting my credential and coaching, moving up to getting a teaching job and coaching. 
Until next time.
TDS

Death

I found out yesterday that my great grandma wasn't feeling good so my grandma took her to the hospital. After several hours of  sitting in waiting rooms and waiting for tests, we were told she had a blood clot in her leg and her heart was in a-fib. They wanted to make sure that there wasn't a clot in her lungs. Idk how long she was in the ER but finally got a room and had to wait for a CT this morning. All and all it looks like she's ok for now but its going down hill now. Her heart can't stay like that for long and at 95 years old she's ready for the end. 

Its sort of strange to be going through this now. I've gone through several deaths and loses in my life. I don't know if its because of this or because she is 95 and we knew it could come any time, but I'm very at ease about it. In the past its been so sudden when I've lost a family member, this would be the first time that it would be due mainly to age not some other disease, or anomaly. Part of me wonders if I'm being unattached because I'm not as emotional as I have been. 

I've worried in the past about calls at certain times of night and just dreams about coming home and being told that there's bad news, but now that I'm in that moment and I'm not reacting the same way. Maybe I'm over thinking all this maybe not. At the moment she is in stable condition and being put in a nursing home, but I'm sure it will go downhill from here. 

Hopefully she will go quick and not feel anything.

TDS

Growing up

Its amazing the things you think about when you're little. How you would look. What you would have and what you would do. It never really dawns on you all the responsibilities and everything you have to pay for until you're thrown into the "adult" life.

I knew I would have to pay for more and be able to plan my expenses, but I didn't realize how fast everything will add up. Just yesterday I had to pay for my CSET and car registration, it came to $400. I nearly passed out. To me that 's a lot of money. I can see my bank account getting smaller and smaller. No wonder everyone is so stressed out when they get older. It feels like you can never make enough money to stay on top of all the things you have to pay for. Its not like I've even gone off on a spending spree on things I don't need. At this rate I feel like I should get 5 jobs to pay for everything. How do you stay on top of all this? I think about all the things that I will have to pay for in the near future and get a little sick.

Today I am going to the doctor to get some papers filled out for my teaching. This task, so small but means so much. This is the last doctors visit I have before I am no longer insured. This inevitable end was going to come one way or another, but I thought I would feel a little more prepared. Now to go shopping for an insurance that I will have to put out more money on. Its like a never ending cycle.

Well time for the Dr. (I may not be writing about anything of any interest to anyone, but it is nice to be able to put some of this down)

TDS